Kewis and Other Mispelled Fruit

Beehive guys

Tue, 21 May 2013 23:07:09 -0700

I just made one.
No evidence
But I am so damn proud of everything

[insert literary reference]: Why Do Men Keep Putting Me in the Girlfriend-Zone?

Tue, 21 May 2013 20:57:07 -0700

[insert literary reference]: Why Do Men Keep Putting Me in the Girlfriend-Zone?:

You know how it is, right, ladies? You know a guy for a while. You hang out with him. You do fun things with him—play video games, watch movies, go hiking, go to concerts. You invite him to your parties. You listen to his problems. You do all this because you think he wants to be your friend.

But…

fuckyeahcraft: Gorgeous book planters! It’s fantastic...

Wed, 15 May 2013 20:27:58 -0700

fuckyeahcraft:

Gorgeous book planters!

It’s fantastic and all, but I’m knife impaired and have book destruction issues…

Dear Google,

Fri, 03 May 2013 11:50:23 -0700

I want make a ballerina bun for a real person dancer!

Google: Are you getting married?

Me: No..but you see, I’—

Google: Are you sure?

Me: No! I need one for dancers, dumm-

Google: Oh! You must mean the fun bun! Natalie Portman loves the fun bun!

Me: That’s very nice for Natalie Portman..

Google: You must love Jennifer Lopez.

Me: No Google, I—

Google: Clearly, you hate any enjoyment of any kind, so we took out the pictures. You’re welcome.

Me: …

Google: Are you sure you’re not getting married?

Me: …

Google: Want to lose 10 pounds?

3 Goals

Fri, 03 May 2013 08:20:46 -0700

1. Learn how to use a curling iron without hurting people.

2. Find awesome tea shops

3. Drink copious amounts of tea.

Ravenclawed

Mon, 12 Nov 2012 23:54:35 -0800

Romney

Thu, 18 Oct 2012 15:21:37 -0700

I just don’t like him.

That awkward moment when you facebook stalk for research.

Tue, 25 Sep 2012 17:57:56 -0700

That awkward moment when you facebook stalk for research.

findvegan: 4 ingredient coconut ice cream - no ice cream maker...

Sun, 23 Sep 2012 12:38:07 -0700

findvegan:

4 ingredient coconut ice cream - no ice cream maker needed

Also an avocado ice cream, a banana and coconut ice cream…and other things. It’s pretty great. Especially if you’re spiteful and don’t like tools.

death-by-lulz: Be sure to follow this blog, it’ll look great on...

Sun, 23 Sep 2012 11:48:51 -0700

death-by-lulz:

Be sure to follow this blog, it’ll look great on your dashboard

Roast Beef

Sat, 22 Sep 2012 19:01:01 -0700

Every time I’m vegetarian, the universe slaps me with free fish.

Or, in this case, roast beef.

So much roast beef.

Today I

Thu, 20 Sep 2012 00:25:23 -0700

—Made Sandwiches

—Realized how shitty it is to make sandwiches with hipsters

—like, real ones

—Quit my job

—was in a play

—Watched the 2nd part of Tropic Thunder

—Ate salmon and mac n’ Cheese

—Discovered my spacebar is breaking

—as is my b

Budgets

Wed, 12 Sep 2012 16:51:20 -0700

Are less cute (and more annoying) than these:

shagelbagels: hello-my-name-is-ehehehe: evil-sherlock-holmes: ...

Mon, 02 Jul 2012 20:49:33 -0700

shagelbagels:

hello-my-name-is-ehehehe:

evil-sherlock-holmes:

iuthebarbarian:

will-henry:

frickingloki:

nrrrdcakkke:

childrenmilk:

schneid2:

iwillmindfuckyou:

capnskull:

ihate-lashae:

omg wht was the name of this show !

Apples in suits.

grapes in tuxedos

pears in graphic tees

cumquats in panties

plantains in nightwear.

watermelons in thongs.

oranges in cardigans

cucumbers in lingerie

strawberries in straw hats

potatoes in sweaters

peaches in bow-ties

Penises in Pinstripes.

Oh you know you were thinking it.

Photo

Thu, 28 Jun 2012 14:17:50 -0700

funniest10k: Follow this blog, you will love it on your...

Thu, 28 Jun 2012 12:32:48 -0700

funniest10k:

Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

Herro!

Thu, 28 Jun 2012 11:42:00 -0700

Herro!

funniest10k: Click here for the funnest blog you will EVER...

Wed, 27 Jun 2012 15:14:22 -0700

funniest10k:

Click here for the funnest blog you will EVER follow

Amen.

Photo

Wed, 27 Jun 2012 14:13:07 -0700

Photo

Wed, 27 Jun 2012 13:21:00 -0700